


when the battle has done

by quantumducky



Category: Once Upon a Time (In Space) - The Mechanisms (Album), The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Arguing, Character Study, F/F, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Post-Canon, i almost feel bad for picking such an obvious lyric title but listen... im lazy.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:40:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25868326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quantumducky/pseuds/quantumducky
Summary: Someday, Cinders and Briar Rose will be remembered as heroes. Right now, they're two grieving and traumatized people who can't be what the other wants.
Relationships: Briar Rose & Cinders (Once Upon A Time In Space), Cinders/Rose (Once Upon A Time In Space)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31
Collections: The Mechanisms But Without The Mechanisms (Summer 2020)





	when the battle has done

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [just_nat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_nat/pseuds/just_nat) in the [mechs_albums_summer_2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/mechs_albums_summer_2020) collection. 



> i did NOT expect this to be so difficult to write but hopefully it satisfies the prompt!

Briar isn’t Rose. Not  _ her _ Rose, at least. Cinders knows this because she saw her Rose  _ die, _ watched the life leave her eyes right in front of her, in her arms. The memory is fresh. She can still feel the blood on her hands when she thinks about it. All those years of searching, and then it was over like  _ that. _ It’s almost unfair enough to make her think of the time as wasted. She could have done so many other things with her life.

It had never really seemed, though, like she had any other options. Her home was already long gone, and her love had been stolen from her. Rose, who had promised to take her away from the sad little pile of tragedies that was her former life- promised her a new start and, hopefully, a happy ending. Rose, the first person to care about her as anything more than a political prisoner since her world was conquered. She was first called  _ Cinders _ as a cruel joke, reminding her she was now the princess of nothing but ash and ruins. When Rose said it, it didn’t sound like that at all. In her mouth, Cinders was a phoenix, just waiting to come back brighter. She couldn’t say she had ever really believed it, but she certainly fell in love with it.

She’d always believed in Rose, though, if not so much in herself. Honestly, with Rose, it was less a matter of  _ belief _ and more of an indisputable  _ fact _ that, whatever she decided she wanted, she would do anything necessary to make it happen. And she kept her promises. Even after Rose was taken, Cinders never stopped believing that they  _ would _ be happy together, no matter how long it took to get there, if she could just find her again. Everything would be okay once she had her love back. She believed it right up until the moment she saw Rose killed. It’s just her and Briar now, the only two survivors of that final battle hiding out until they can come up with something to do next, and it’s like living with a ghost.

It’s nearly enough to drive her mad every time she turns around and sees her- almost Rose, but not quite. Briar doesn’t have the right scars, for one thing, and besides, she  _ can’t _ be her Rose. Because she’s right here, and nothing is even a little bit better.

Briar knows Cinders is avoiding her. It would be difficult not to notice, when they’re sharing the same small living space for the time being- it’s honestly pretty obvious. In the privacy of her own thoughts, she won’t pretend it doesn’t hurt. Technically, she knows, none of what she remembers was actually  _ her, _ but all the technicalities in the world couldn’t do anything about the way it feels to look at the woman she can’t help but instinctively think of as her fiancee and see her studiously turn the other way. It’s not as if Briar expects her to treat her like the original Rose, but it would be nice if they could at least have a damn conversation.

It doesn’t get better given a few more days, and eventually she isn’t going to play along anymore. Next time Cinders leaves a room to get away from her, she follows. The look Cinders turns and gives her says she knows what conversation they’re about to have.

“You’re avoiding me,” Briar says. She was never the type to waste words. “Why?”

Cinders folds her arms and doesn’t meet her eyes. “If you must know… I’d just prefer to do my mourning in private when the only company available is nearly a stranger. So yes, I have been avoiding you, but it’s nothing personal. I’m sure you understand.” The conclusion of her answer is meant as a dismissal, but Briar doesn’t move.

“I’m not a stranger.” She knows this is going to start an argument, but can’t bring herself not to say it anyway.

“I met you a week ago,” she sighs. “We barely know each other.”

It might be a little cruel of Briar to retort, “I know you as well as  _ she _ did.”

Cinders’ hands curl into fists before she forces them to relax. “You,” she says deliberately, “are not Rose. And frankly, you’re the last person I want to talk to about her.”

She doesn’t flinch, but it takes a conscious effort. “But I have her memories. Sure you don’t want to hear what I know about her?”

“No.” Her voice is firm, but she hesitates.

“You’re afraid of learning something you won’t like.” Briar knows she’s right. Her ability to read people was one of the qualities that made Rose so good at destroying them.

“Or,” Cinders snaps, “I  _ respect _ her enough not to invade her  _ privacy _ like that. Especially when… especially now.”

“I can tell you how she felt about you-”

“I know enough. I know she  _ loved _ me.”

“You’re right.”

That simple agreement startles Cinders enough to go quiet and listen.

“Of course Rose loved you. She was willing to risk her career to be with you. Even she wouldn’t have kept her position long if word went around that she was going soft.” Briar looks off into the distance. “But… it was complicated.”

Cinders wants to interrupt, make her stop talking, but a deeper and stronger part of her insists on hearing everything.

“She led the invading force that conquered your planet. You must have known that.”

She did, of course. She tried not to think about it- because it was in the past already, she tells herself, and there was no reason to dwell on it- but there was no way she couldn’t have known.

“Rose felt guilty. For- a lot of things, not just that.” She looked pained as she remembered. “There was no way  _ out _ by then, or to undo any of the death and destruction, but there was you. You were the first person I-  _ she,” _ she corrected herself bitterly, “had really viewed as a  _ person _ in a long time, other than- Snow.”

The mention of that name clearly affected her. She paused her speech for a moment, jaw set, exhaling slowly. It was good, Cinders found herself thinking, that at least  _ someone _ could still remember General White as she had been before taking that name.

“We loved you,” she continues, and Cinders can take issue with the lack of separation if she wants, Briar doesn’t care anymore. “And we were also using you to shut our conscience up. I know she never told you any of that. Maybe she would have, if things had gone differently. You never had a chance to talk to her about anything important. I’ve had more conversations with you by now than she ever did.”

Cinders is getting angry again, the more she goes on. “Why are you telling me any of this?” she demands. “You can recite her memories all you want. You’re  _ never _ going to be my Rose.” It’s  _ definitely _ a cruel thing to say, but in that moment, she doesn’t really care.

“I know,” Briar all but shouts. “Your Rose is fucking  _ dead, _ and before that, she killed  _ countless _ people in loyal service to a tyrant who ended up betraying her!”

“Don’t- don’t talk about her like that. Don’t you dare.”

“The woman you’re in love with doesn’t  _ exist. _ I  _ am _ Rose, in every way that means anything, and listen, I’m not trying to say we should be getting married! But everything you hate about me right now- guess where that came from?” She takes a breath and tries to calm down. “You can think whatever you want of me. I don’t really care,” she lies. “Just stop comparing me to this, this perfect imaginary version of a person you never really knew.”

The will to keep fighting about this leaves both of them more or less simultaneously. “Fine,” Cinders says, in that particular way that doesn’t express any real meaning beyond a desire for the interaction to end. “I’d like to be alone now.”

Briar nods and takes a few steps back, out of the room. The door closes between them. They don’t go near each other again for hours. It gives both of them plenty of time to start regretting some of the things they said.

When the tension breaks, it’s not with emotional shows of remorse or even outright stated apologies. There’s work to be done, planning to move forward, and they can only do it together. They forgive each other in the empty spaces where they don’t mention what still feels too raw to address, and end up with just a little less distance between them than before. They don’t talk about it, but if they’re lucky enough to have time, maybe they will.

**Author's Note:**

> i tried to write this in a way that didn't end in shouting at each other and it just would not happen. as soon as i started writing them they were both like ACTUALLY i'm gonna lash out at the only available target for my grief and anger and there is nothing you can do about it. and then it would have taken way more words than i had in me to actually resolve anything so i tried to just... imply that they'll probably figure it out eventually?


End file.
